*Warning* Normal blogging was disrupted by some emotional stuff! But will return to normal shortly. Bear with me.
I kind of stalled out on the blog. I obviously have known the purpose of this trip and I obviously know that my sweet grandmother passed away from this life nearly a year and a half ago. However, I have never been to Montana without her. We have never been away on an all family vacation without her. I have never seen both of her siblings together at the same time… without her. I kept catching myself as I prepared for this trip thinking, “Oh, I can’t wait to… oh. Right.” Today was the day that we scattered her ashes and said our final goodbyes. It was harder than I thought it would be. Grief is a funny thing and as we have learned several times over the last few years in our family, it is even funnier when you lose someone slowly. When Nana actually passed, it felt like a relief, thankful that she was free from suffering. She was 95 and in many ways had been gone for some time. It felt awkward to accept condolences. On the other hand, as she slowly slipped from us over the past few years, it felt like we were letting go, but we were not actually grieving since she was still with us. Now, it felt like the time to grieve the Nana that we loved for so many years. When I think about her, I don’t think about the Nana at the last place she lived, who was not able to move about freely and talking was a struggle. I think about the vibrant woman who was still water-skiing when John first met her at age 80. I remember her smile that could light up an entire room, every time. The Nana that would always play games with me when she would come to visit (but was fiercely competitive and wouldn’t stand for any cheating and never let us win, even as kids!). I am so thankful that Trista and Levi were able to know her in this life.
Today we spent the day as a family. We spent some time boating, although it was much colder than it should be on the 3rd of July and we had to cut it short. We scattered Nana’s ashes in a place that was meaningful to all of us (FYI, not even death can spare you from the royal TSA treatment! Mom traveled with Nana’s ashes in her backpack and TSA gave the package a thorough inspection. While we all take comfort in knowing that her spirit is rejoicing in heaven, there were a few moments of panic that some of her physical remains might end up in the hell of all hells… the SFO TSA Checkpoint! Thankfully they never opened the box!)
When we first went out on the boats, there were two boats and we had to divide up. My uncle was the captain of one and my cousin was captain of the other. All of my younger cousins and their partners went to one boat and my mom, aunt, uncles and older cousins went to the other. My kids obviously went to the “younger” boat, while my cousins (who I used to babysit) assured us that it was fine for us to ride on the “mature” vessel, while they looked after our kids. (I am beyond blessed to have such amazing cousins and cousins-in-law that love my kids the way they do!!)
As we headed out across the lake, the other boat was going awfully slow and not tracking in a straight line… Nothing dangerous, just strange. Finally, their boat gained speed and as they cruised past us, I looked over to see what the issue was… Levi was driving the boat!!
My kids LOVE to go sit on the pontoons at Bass Pro and while they will tell you they have never been on a boat (not true, but not like this), they were happily navigating the waters in the first 10 minutes. On the way back, Trista was driving our boat and at one point I looked over and realized that no one was really even paying attention to her!
Later we went back to the rental house to just hang out. Some of us, fell quickly asleep on the loveseat, while cousins entertained our children, and my loving family videoed our snoring and photographed us crashed out… No mercy, even for a poor, sweet pregnant mama!
Also, while we were hanging out, a gorgeous bald eagle came and perched in a high branch RIGHT outside one of the windows. It was too cool, and he hung out for a long time!
After a lazy, rainy afternoon, we headed over to a reunion in the park with some more extended family. It was good to see everyone, but it was SO COLD and POURING down rain that we quickly got everything packed up and headed for warmer, drier, spaces.
